


you're part of my entity (here for infinity)

by eternal_optimist



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Families of Choice, I'm braver than all of tcw's writers, Missing Scene, Order 66, cowards all of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternal_optimist/pseuds/eternal_optimist
Summary: When Ahsoka Tano left the Jedi Order after her trials, she'd made peace with the fact that she would trek a long road of loneliness. So when an old friend turned up unexpectedly at her door, she was quite surprised.Or Padmé and Ahsoka get to say goodbye, but they don't know that of course.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 15
Kudos: 115





	you're part of my entity (here for infinity)

**Author's Note:**

> In honour of getting Order Sixty-Six 2.0, I decided to indulge in the angst fest that will no doubt commence with my own sad piece and also because I am SUPER BITTER about the fact that Padmé Amidala is getting shafted in her own show AND the fact that we will never get a goodbye scene between her and Ahsoka, you know her husband's padawan who was a treasured friend of hers and kinda-sorta-her-first-daughter but I digress. 
> 
> Sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands and fix a problem yourself!
> 
> For the sake of this one-shot, assume that nobody has confirmation that Anakin and Padmé are in a relationship, like they're definitely suspicious because these two are closer than a Jedi and a Senator should be but it's not on canon's level of Obi-Wan telling Anakin straight to his face that he knows. Movie canon support the fact that these two were quite decent at keeping their marriage a secret. Whether you want to have Rex be on the know or not however, is up to you guys.

Sighing, Ahsoka breathed through her mouth, staring at the piece in her hand and wishing desperately for the will power to start working on it.

It was a garbled mess of tangled wires that would need to be sorted out before she could even begin to think of repairing it but as it was, Ahsoka could only keep turning it over in her hand.

"How's it going?" Trace asked, depositing a box of spare parts on a table by the corner of the back room.

"Not great, I won't lie."

"This small thing is giving you trouble?"

"No, it's just… forget it, I'll start working on it now."

She could feel Trace's curiosity but Trace did not press for answers and Ahsoka turned back to the piece clutched between her fingers.

At least the next hour wouldn't require much brain power, she'd just have to detangle all the wires.

Trace worked on the table next to her, back turned to Ahsoka as she lit up the oxyacetylene flame to weld two parts together, mask on to protect her face from the flying embers. The noise fell to the background as she worked on her task, observing the faded colours and the light scratch of rust.

The pad of her fingers rubbed over it and she blew on the surface, bits of dust floating in the air.

"Your mind is elsewhere."

"Yeah."

The curtains flew open as Rafa came in, her usual coat of fur slung over her shoulders and the line of cohol making her eyes stand out.

"Hey, hard workers."

"Hey," Trace said, dropping the welding torch and taking off the mask. "Why are you here?"

"Thought I'd drop by and see how you're doing," Rafa replied. "There's someone outside by the way."

Trace perked up. "Oh, I hope it's a customer. I'll go see them."

Ahsoka resumed fumbling with the piece of machinery, looking up when Rafa offered her a bar of processed fruit. She accepted it, biting into the bit with more force than was necessary.

Trace came back inside.

"It's for you, Ahsoka."

"I don't know anyone," she said around a mouthful of fruit, grunting in frustration when the next knot wouldn't untangle. 

"That's not what they said."

She took another bite. "Must be a mistake."

"Uh-" Trace looked at her sister who shrugged. Trace groaned and went outside again.

"You famous and didn't tell us, Tano?"

Ahsoka let out a snort. Probably, but not in a way that Rafa would expect.

Trace closed the curtains behind her, casting a look at the main sector of the shop. "I think you should see what's going on because whoever they are, they are insisting they see you."

"Back-up from those guys I beat up?"

Trace shook her head. "Impossible, they look way too polished for that."

"Polished?"

"Rich."

"You know rich people?" Rafa murmured incredulously.

Ahsoka ignored her and stood up, wiping her hands on the back of her bottoms. 

"I'll go see whatever this is."

She drew the curtains and pulled them shut, steeling herself when she saw the figure standing by the entrance. Their front was facing the outside so Ahsoka couldn't see their face.

What she did see however, was the heavy cloak the person wore, all rich blue colour and velvet texture and Trace _was_ right, it did look polished.

"Hi, I'm not sure who you are exactly but-"

They turned around and Ahsoka felt the breath get stuck in her throat, almost falling backwards from shock.

"Padmé?"

Padmé, hair wound around her head and lacking any ornate headdresses like the ones she wore in the Senate, whose undersuit was simple but stood out against the worn walls of the Martez' workshop.

Padmé who'd stood by her side when so few - no one, only Anakin - had stood by her side, who'd taken up her case and worked as hard as she could to prove her innocence. Padmé who Ahsoka hadn't said goodbye to.

Padmé who she hadn't seen in what felt like far too long.

"Ahsoka!" 

She didn't protest when she was drawn into a bone crushing hug, feelings far too jumbled in her chest and her throat still tight. Padmé's arms were tight around her, and the Force felt warm, almost singing.

She didn't realise how much she'd sunk into the hug until Padmé drew back, hands gripping Ahsoka's shoulders fiercely. 

"It's so good to see you."

A hysterical laugh might have wanted to come out at that moment. 

"You too," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you of course. Did the owner of this shop not tell you?"

"Oh, Trace told me. I meant what are you doing _here_? In the thirteen thirteen? How did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy, you're adamant about disappearing that's for certain, I had to do quite the digging for any information about your whereabouts and it took a lot of time but I'm so glad I was able to reach you."

"Oh, um," she cleared her throat. "How are you? Are you well?"

She was surprised to see Padmé's smile falter briefly, a brief bout of worry in the Force.

"Yes, I'm well."

"That's good to hear."

"And you? Are you okay?" Padmé asked. "I trust you're getting along with your… friends? Is that the correct term?"

A surge of anger grew at the question before she realized that Padmé was simply inquiring about her well being. There was no note of disdain in her voice, not at the repair shop or the dirty tools around her or being in one of the slummiest levels of Courscant.

Just concern. For her.

"They're my friends, yes," she paused and reconsidered. "At least Trace is, I don't think Rafa likes me very much."

"Give her time," Padmé's tone was fond. "I have it on good authority that no one can resist your charms for long."

Anakin couldn't, were the words unsaid.

Heart heavy and chest full of ache, her smile was a bitter thing. 

When she spoke she was startled and mortified to hear tears in her voice.

"Is he okay?"

Padmé's arms twitched at her sides before she crossed them at her chest and let them drop lower around her abdomen in a motion whose implications Ahsoka couldn't decipher.

"I don't know," Padmé rubbed her temple tiredly. "There's been rumors and whispers everywhere, conflicting reports. Some say he's successfully making his way through the Outer Rim, others… others say he's dead."

Ahsoka shook her head. "He's not. I would have felt it if he were."

"What I wouldn't give to have some Force sensitivity of my own and know that for myself."

At that, Padmé's eyes grew wide, hands clamping over her mouth in horror.

Her face had gone very pale.

"Padmé, it's okay," she whispered.

A frown. "It's okay?"

Sheepish, Ahsoka rubbed her hand over her monterls. "I may have noticed that you and Skyguy are not exactly a paragon for standard Senator-Jedi acquaintance."

"You _know_?"

"Know is a strong word." Her lips curved in a wicked smirl. "You just confirmed it though."

Padmé let out a breath. "Well, I suppose if anyone has to be made aware, it should be you."

The trust in those words made her chest tingle.

Padmé's skin still had an unhealthy sheen to it however, so Ahsoka led her to a few crates on the sides that Trace had said she'd clear and then completely forgot about where they could lean against. 

"Thank you."

She waved it away, "no problem. Now you and Skyguy, Spill!"

"You want gossip?" Padmé seemed incredibly amused.

"Oh yes, it's been _boring_ down here."

"I heard that, Tano!" Rafa shouted from the backroom.

"Stop eavesdropping," Ahsoka shouted back.

When she turned back to Padmé, her friend's face was tense, expression closed off and shooting the curtains a look of mistrust.

"Don't worry about her, she's not going to be able to hear us."

"Are you certain?"

She waved her fingers, a gleam in her eyes. "Absolutely. Now, come on."

Padmé smiled, full of nostalgia. "I missed you so much, Ahsoka."

The corners of her eyes stung. "Me too."

They stayed quiet for a few moments, basking in each other's presence until Ahsoka broke the silence.

"Spill."

Shoulders shaking in mirth, Padmé said, "we care for each other a lot."

Ahsoka stared, her impassive face telling her just how unamused she was until Padmé rolled her eyes.

"Fine. We are hoping to settle down together after the war."

That… Ahsoka hadn't expected that.

"Wow."

"I suppose it is surprising."

_I understand. More than you realize, I understand wanting to walk away from the Order._

_I know._

"No, not… not really, now that I think about it."

"I'm not sure how to feel about that."

Ahsoka shrugged, "Skyguy is not exactly a typical Jedi."

Padmé's eyes fluttered, something morose in her voice. "But he loves it, his calling is to help people."

"Who's to say he won't be able to if he quits? He's never been _just_ a Jedi."

Padmé played with her sleeves, eyes focused on a few littered tools. 

Sensing that that was a conversation best left untouched for now, Ahsoka changed the topic.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Just Threepio and Artoo."

"Threepio and Artoo?" Ahsoka exclaimed. "I feel special."

"Artoo would agree."

They looked at each other then burst out in a loud laughing fit. Trace drew the curtains to check on them, quirking an eyebrow at the strange scene before turning back.

"Your family doesn't know?" 

"We'll tell them when the time comes."

"Well, all in all. You and Skyguy would be perfect together."

Padmé's eyes lit up. "You truly think so?"

"Oh yes, Anakin was always so happy after he saw you, even when we were knee deep in the battlefield. It was disgusting really."

Padmé slapped her lightly on the arm. "Hey."

"It's the truth."

"Don't call it disgusting!"

"What else should I call it, then?" 

Padmé opened her mouth to tell her exactly what she should call it before she deflated.

"You know, I didn't come here just to talk."

Of course, thought Ahsoka. Disappointment welled up inside her like an angry leaking wound.

"Is there something you need my help w- What are you doing?" She asked, watching as Padmé dug into the inner layer of her cloak and brought out a sleek silver com.

"You want me to fix your com?"

"No Ahsoka. It's for you."

She blinked. "Me?"

"Yes. It's encrypted so once you operate it, it will only work with your voice. It has the numbers of a few contacts of mine, people who could reach you, in case you were in a tight spot and needed help. The frequencies of two or three of my fellow senators at great discretion."

"I don't understand."

"Should you be in trouble of any kind and you cannot reach either Anakin or I, contact any of them. They know they're to help you if you call."

Ahsoka turned on the com. It lit up, a text box appearing on the screen asking her to state her name.

"Ahsoka Tano."

Another text box appeared, informing her that she was now the sole operator. Scrolling through the list of registered contacts, she was unsurprised to see Padmé's name at the top with two numbers, one senatorial and the other her private com. 

There were contact frequencies for Senator Organa, Riyo and Mon Mothma, a few others she recognised like Captain Typho and Padmé's handmaidens. Others she was unfamiliar with save for their occupations that were written in their description boxes. A lawyer, medics, a couple of refugee aids even. 

"This is all for me?"

Padmé nodded.

"I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing. It's not entirely selfless, I'll admit. I'll sleep much easier at night knowing you're okay."

Tears burning at her eyes, she lunged at Padmé to hug her as hard as she could. There was a sob that begged to be let out but Ahsoka wouldn't let it, not right now. She was far too taken with the snug feeling that came with Padmé hugging her even if her friend was shorter than her right now to bother with crying.

Later, her tears would come.

"Thank you."

"Think nothing of it," Padmé whispered by her ear.

That sob traitorously hid itself behind a choked laugh that she couldn't hide.

"I don't know how but your hugs are cozier."

Padmé tightened her grip. "How do you know, you haven't hugged me in months."

"No, it's different," she said, drawing away to take a proper look at her friend. "And so are you."

Another twitch of her arms. "Different how?"

"I'm not sure. You're brighter in the Force, I guess."

A nervous chuckle. "That's strange."

"Kind of."

There was a beep from somewhere in Padmé's cloak who reached to silence it with a quick fumble of her hand.

"You have to go, don't you?"

Padmé tried to smile but it came out melancholy. 

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's okay. I got to see you which is really not something I thought would happen at all when I woke up this morning. You were one of the last five people I expected to meet today."

"Just five? Should I be offended?"

Ahsoka arched her eyebrow eliciting another round of laughter, softer and quieter but it was laughter all the same.

"I'll see you soon."

"I hope so."

Padmé headed towards the exit, pulling the hood of her cloak over her head and the thought came to Ahsoka at light speed.

"Wait! Did you come here alone?"

"Yes."

She could just about imagine Captain Typho's migraine when he discovered what Padmé had done. "Are you insane?"

"Don't worry about me, Ahsoka," she said. "I'll be fine. I always am."

Well, that was true. "Take care of yourself."

"Same goes for you and remember if you're in trouble, call me. I'll be there."

She nodded, watching as her friend disappeared behind the wall, resisting the urge to run after her. To go with Padmé or simply follow her with her eyes as she disappeared in the millions of sentients who filled Coruscant, she did not know.

A minute or two passed. Her muscles slowly loosened and she swallowed.

"What was all that about?" Trace asked.

Her hand unconsciously tightened around the com, holding it like the precious thing it was.

"Nothing. Just an old friend coming to check by."

"You both were whispering for a long time," Rafa said.

She smirked. "Curious?"

"Always."

Ahsoka put the com in her pockets and sauntered back to the back room. 

"C'mon, aren't you going to tell me?"

"No."

"Ugh."

"Both of you stop it," Trace said. 

"Oh, whatever. I'm heading back to my place," Rafa turned back. "Don't think I'll forget this, Tano."

Laughing under her breath, Ahsoka sat down and picked the piece of machinery as she continued her task. The wires untangled much easier this time, thank the Force. 

* * *

She gasped and struggled for breath, sinking to her knees in exhaustion. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it would escape her chest and tumble out of her ribcage.

"Commander," Rex reached out a hand to her and she flinched.

"I'm fine, Rex. Don't worry."

Ahsoka sensed he was about to say something else only for her to push him against the wall, hiding behind the fallen debris from the battalion of soldiers who marched as one in a sight that made the blood in her veins freeze. Her grip around her lightsaber did not loosen for one moment, not while they were still in sight and not after the sound of their footsteps was far away.

"We need to leave," the words were spoken without thought, mind whirring faster than Ahsoka could think.

"Yes, we do," Rex said. "You dropped this."

She saw the com, Padmé's com and nearly fell back. Ahsoka took it from him and cradled it to her chest, not willing to imagine if she'd lost it amidst this strange chaos they'd found themselves into.

"Thank you."

She looked at the device, wondering if she should contact Padmé but the noise of blaster fire and coordinated marching made her reconsider.

She couldn't ask her friend to come to her on Mandalore, not when Ahsoka still didn't understand why her men had shot at her and Rex out of the blue, hunting them with passive determination, their shots not aiming to wound or incapacitate but to _kill_.

The risk of Padmé getting caught in the crossfire was too great.

Ahsoka wouldn't call her, not right now. Later when they were off planet perhaps.

Right now, she had to figure out a way out.

"Come on," she whispered to Rex, adjusting her hold on her sabers.

* * *

They followed after the Alderaanian aide through the dimly lit underground tunnels of Aldera's palace, the silence echoing far more clearly to Ahsoka than their footsteps ever could. 

She studied the pristine white walls, weary and tired beyond belief and longing for a good night sleep that came with the assurance that running won't be the first thing she had to do after waking up.

That the Force would stop being so empty.

The aide nodded to Rex and her once they came to the doors, opening it with a quick tap to the control pad next to it. Ahsoka saw that it didn't lead to a room, only a seating area with a hallway extending beyond it.

"Padawan Tano," Senator Organa stood up at once to greet her, his cloak flowing around him with the motion. He looked tired as well, pronounced lines of exhaustion marring his face.

"Senator, thank you for answering my call," she said. 

"It's the least I could do for a Jedi."

"I haven't been a Jedi for some time, Senator. Just call me Ahsoka."

"Of course," his eyes went to Rex at her side and she knew his question before he could ask it.

"He's on our side. He helped me evade the troopers when they attacked."

"These are troubling times."

"What happened?"

He motioned for them to walk with him and they followed at a sadete pace. "Besides the Jedi being declared traitors and hunted down in the matter of days and an Empire of all things established? Quite more than I can properly describe Ahsoka."

"This Empire," it was so strange to say it out loud. "How could it have been allowed to rise?"

His smile was bitter, "liberty is dead."

She had a feeling these words were not his own.

"Are there no efforts to stop the Empire?"

"There was, there is but I'm afraid we are not enough right now."

A door at the end of the hallway slid open to reveal a high-tech chamber equipped with holoprojectors and coms, the central round table lined with chairs all around it. She spared the screen at one of the walls a passing glance, skimming over the data written quickly.

"Have you tried contacting Senator Amidala?" She asked. "I know Padmé, she'd want to help in any way she can."

And maybe she could see her, find out if she and Anakin were safe from all of this insanity. Padmé wasn't answering her calls and Ahsoka was getting worried.

Senator Organa stopped where he was, turning to look at her. They stopped as well, not sure why he was staring at them so.

"You do not know?"

She could feel her heartbeat accelerate. "Know what?"

Ahsoka saw him swallow, a strange prickling sensation overcoming her. Senator Organa pulled out a holoprojector from the pocket of his pants, typing on the screen in rapid movements.

He put the holo on the table and she watched as it lit up, displaying its content in 

Her brows furrowed, wondering why Bail was showing her what she presumed to be a digitally designed image of Padmé sleeping, flowers and ribbons woven in her hair, curls arranged around her face like the artworks she used to study in the Temple's cultural classes.

"Padmé Amidala is dead."

The words didn't register, falling on deaf ears but shock had her snap to stare at the senator, that prickling sensation spreading to her legs and fingers.

What? 

"What?"

The senator pressed another button and the image changed to a recording. She could recognise the background from Naboo, the bridge over the Solleu River familiar but Ahsoka had never seen it so busy, so somber, people lining both sides with hoods drawn up and candles grasped in their hands, a gulaars carriage proceeding through the street.

No matter how much she wished it; for her eyes to stop looking, for her mind to start comprehending what she was seeing, neither happened and Ahsoka was forced to watch Padmé, looking so still and peaceful that she could have been sleeping, a simple necklace between her hands cradled over her…

Over her…

Ahsoka muffled her horrified gasp in her palm, _she was pregnant, she was pregnant, she was pregnant_ rolling over and over in her mind.

She couldn't think, couldn't breathe. _She_ _was pregnant and it's Anakin's, isn't it?_

The procession continued on, Naboo's queen and her entourage walking behind the carriage with a few of the Gungans, faces turned towards the ground.

The Force became a bit more hollower.

"The Empire did this?" She whispered, a lone tear falling down her cheek.

Senator Organa bowed his head and a bitter sound ached to escape her throat because of course, of course they did. 

The Emperor had declared the Jedi traitors and her men had turned at her and she couldn't feel anyone, not Anakin, not Obi-Wan not the hundred thousands souls that should be with her in the Force and it was all empty ruins and of course Padmé was dead too.

She wouldn't have stood for this, came the thought, not ever. She would have fought and raged and cursed at the foolishness for the ones who cheered and applauded as the Emperor got his crown.

Padmé would have refused it all and Ahsoka could so easily picture it, her friend offered all the power that anyone else would accept and turning away from it.

And they killed her and her child for it.

Anakin's child who the Empire killed, who was dead without a doubt because there was no universe in which Anakin Skywaller would continue on living without Padmé Amidala there in it.

Force, they were going to _settle_ down.

"Commander," Rex spoke, that tremor of grief so tight woven in his voice and mirroring her own.

"I'm fine."

She was fine but everyone she knew was not.

Ahsoka did not offer any objections when Rex pushed her to sit down. Her legs were made of jelly about to crumble and give away at any moment.

"I'm so sorry. I know how close you were."

She saw sadness in Senator Organa's eyes and wondered if his own grief was so heavy.

It probably wasn't, he was only grieving friends.

She nodded and he sighed, regret pouring out of him like Naboo's waterfalls - Anakin loved the water - excusing himself to leave them to their sorrow.

Rex sat next to her when the Senator left, his fingers not letting go of her shoulders. She was thankful for the tether even if she knew there would be bruises in the mornings.

Just another set to add.

"Ahsoka," Rex murmured.

Hearing her name made the floodgates burst open and break down and the tears gushed out and out until she was a sobbing mess, elbows digging in her knees as she hid her face from the galaxy.

Her heart hurt. It hurt, it hurt.

The Force was so _empty_ and Anakin and Padmé were dead.

She was thankful when Rex pulled her in a hug, grateful for another place to hide her pieces, more and more sobs spurting free.

Bits of armour jabbed her skin but their pain was dull compared to Padmé's gift poking her hip bone, a taunt, a solace.

Her eyes found Padmé's bump, the projected image suspended in the air from the holo-device.

She supposed the baby was fortunate not to live in this cruel galaxy where they could be with their parents in death like they weren't destined to alive. 

Ahsoka sniffed as more tears fell.

She wished she could make it all stop.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I ever wrote about Padmé's death and I have to say... I did NOT vibe with that. I had to take breaks between writing, this is why I only write happy aus and fics where she's alive. I MISS HER A LOT.
> 
> I kinda feel like I got a bit on the nose with the flowery language and the metaphors in the last scene but hey it's all for the angst ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I hope that you drove a bit of the satisfaction that I did on filling this missing piece and that the dialogue flowed seamlessly and everyone was properly in character. Sorry if anyone cried :p 
> 
> Please don't hesitate to tell me what you thought about this oneshot. I'm very much interested about anything you had to say, favourite lines, discussions, anything at all! Thank you for reading!


End file.
